Do you create intentionally or subconsciously?

Here is a bit of a food for thought post for you...when you create do you create intentionally or subconsciously?

Have you ever thought about the colours you are using or intentionally thought 'I will use this colour today' because it ties in with what you want to journal about. That isn't something I have really thought about until most recently.

I do a bit of both actually depending on what it is that I am doing and why.

It has taken me a while to write this blog post as I wasn't sure if I was going to or not but then I thought why not, some of you might find it interesting, thought provoking even. I am only sharing a snippet of a journal entry here that I created at the beginning of the month as the rest is a bit personal and takes me out of my comfort zone for sharing but I am sure you can understand that.

So I was sat on the sofa with my 'bag of tricks' by me and I reached in and grabbed the first distress stain that 'spoke' to me. It was green. A colour that I won't say I dislike but one that I certainly wouldn't naturally gravitate towards because it doesn't normally 'speak' to me. Well I thought OK just go with it, if it is calling out to you just go with the flow and use it and use it I did for a nice wash over the page. The second colour I used was an orange but again not a typical colour for me.

I kind of liked how they looked on the page and I knew what I wanted to journal about, I just wanted a bit of colour underneath it for some visual interest. I had a bit of a hard time in April to be perfectly honest with you. I was very stressed and felt burnt out from pressure that I had put on myself as well as from a situation that is going on in our personal life at the moment. It is a situation that I am in, a process that I am journeying along but one in which I have no control over what so ever. I just have to go along with it whether I am happy or comfortable with it or not and there is very very little that I can do to change the outcome. I felt very de motivated and depowered (is that even a word? I dunno! But whatever the opposite to empowered is, I felt that!). I basically felt as though the life force had been sucked out of me and all my creative juice had dried up and my life force has gone. I felt like a shell of a person which proved to be so toxic that a week later I fell ill.

As it turns out being ill is the best thing that happened and I will talk about that in a later post as I have another one in the pipeline talking about my authentic self.

I journalled my little socks off! On the left of the page I wrote a bit of a summary and on the right hand side I wrote some affirmations for myself. I felt pretty pleased with that and like a release had happened. I then started to wonder about my colour choices. As I said, green and orange aren't my usual go to colours at all! I decided to Google the meaning of the colours and this is what I found out:

So I was pretty blown away by the results the search came up with! I think that pretty much sums up how I am feeling or was feeling at the time of creating that page and also what I need to work on. It is also interesting to me how the orange is at the bottom of the page, to me that ties in with the definition that the joy and sunshine has been suppressed and needs to rise to the surface again.

Of course internet research will bring up other meanings, some contradictory and some more in depth but I kind of like the first ones that came up for me as they resonate with me for sure. I think if you are into that kind of stuff like myself, you will just know if it feels right, if it resonates or strikes a chord with you it was probably meant to be for you.

When I create with a piece in mind I know what colours I want to use usually and use them but for me I definitely want to try and be more open to just going with gut instinct or what I am drawn to at the time to see what results it brings up. Whether there is something to learn from it that I didn't think of before or whether it fits with what I thought. Whichever one it is, there is always something I can learn or take from it as I am on my life journey.